Back to work

Boy - Back to work on Thursday. I can't believe it is 12 weeks since I had doodlebug.

I think the first week shouldn't count since I hardly remember it, and we were in the hospital the whole time anyway. This was pre-blog, here is the short version. Doodlebug was 5 weeks premature, which isn't super early. He had hypoglycemia, which is low blood sugar. This can cause brain damage and death if not caught early. Most hospitals test for this immediately after birth, so it rarely goes uncaught. Usually one or two feedings will correct this, and once it is corrected it is never a problem again. Doodlebug didn't correct after 2 feedings, so was put on an IV. He needed to be stable off the IV for 48 hours before release, so we were there a total of 6 days waiting for him to stabilize. I don't want to overplay it, there were babies that were FAR sicker than him, but it was difficult.

The funny thing about having a kid that no one tells you is that the emotional bond you have immediately is pretty freaky. I am honestly one of the most placid people you could meet. I generally don't react to anything overally emotionally. I complain about things, but I don't cry easily, I usually reason everything out. One of the reasons I picked the hospital I did was in case something happened, we were 11 minutes away, we could visit easily if needed. The day I was to be released and Doodlebug wasn't, I woke up crying so hard I couldn't stop. My husband went and got a nurse and she gave me some medication and sat and calmed me down. My husband joked that it was nice to see that I wasn't a cylon. :)

Anyway - this going back to work is going to suck way more than I expected. Doodle is getting more and more interesting everyday. He greets me every morning with a smile, he recognizes me across the room. While I think I will be a better mom for working, I hate that someone else gets to spend so much time with him. I just want everything - is that wrong? I do really like his daycare lady. She seems wonderful, he really warmed up to her right away. I've seen pictures of her family on facebook, and her kids seem very happy. Other kids she takes care of have been with her for years. I'm hoping for a long term relationship.